


No Light

by songofgallifrey



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 19:18:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11168367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofgallifrey/pseuds/songofgallifrey
Summary: Takes place after Leela becomes blind in Gallifrey series 3. Leela’s world has always been dark but now without her sight, it is even darker but the thing she misses the most is not being able to see the light that shines the brightest out of them all; Romana. Leela/Romana.





	No Light

_When it's over you'll start you’re my head, you're my heart_

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes I never knew daylight could be so violent_

_A revelation in the light of day_

_You can't choose what stays and what fades away_

_No light-Florence and the Machine_

* * *

 

 

Ever since she was a child, Leela has known darkness and has become familiar with it but that didn’t mean she had to _like_ it. She remembered when her mother was alive, her mother would often take her out hunting and Leela had sometimes felt afraid of the omens that lurked about in the forests in the unfamiliar depths of darkness that haunted the most dangerous parts of the forest that even the bravest warriors tended to avoid. But she wasn’t as afraid as them and her mother taught her that there was nothing to be afraid of except the warrior’s death or being one of the seriously injured or cripple of her tribe and being left behind by her village when they moved camps.

Ever since she decided to live on Gallifrey, she knew a different type of darkness. The type of darkness that lived within the souls of the Time-Lord’s underneath the surface despite the fact she knew deep down, these immortal Time-Lords have good hearts if they chose to act upon it. She has seen them do good but they always choose power which leads them to their downfall. Then Andred disappeared and when she found out he was Torvald all along, her world on Gallifrey only became even darker still. It was only thanks to the broken bombs that she and Narvin had planted against Darkel and Imperiatrix that made her fear come true; that she would be one of those broken woman her tribe would often leave behind to the pack of wild animals.

But she was not a broken woman. She was Leela, warrior of the Sevateem and even when her world was plunged in darkness, she would not be defeated. She relied upon her instincts and her ears to let her senses know when there was an enemy upon her or now she will use Annos to guide her as her eyes and sometimes Narvin, when he was willing. She still didn’t trust him but she felt a change within him and she knew that Narvin only had more room to change and fight truly for his President and for Gallifrey.

She flexed her jaw as she walked into the hospital room that Romana was currently in, feeling her way round the room by touching the ends of the other empty medical beds and furniture before she stood across Romana’s, hearing her friend’s gentle breathing that soothed her troubles.

Romana needed her now more than ever, especially now Romana has her own battle scars to bear. Her battle with the Pandora and two mental beings has left her weak and no doubt she will need a new regeneration but Leela was unsure if she was willing to go through with that. After Andred becoming Torvald, Leela did not want a similar situation with the woman she has grown closer with these past few years. Would she be the same person when she changes? Would she have the same personality like the Doctor has? Would she remember her like Andred had forgotten her in his regeneration?

She shook her head, not wishing to think of her friend or lose her like that. Leela has nothing left to strive for and was becoming old and bitter and tired, her soul wearing down but Romana…Romana was her flicker of light in this darkness. Her only hope she had left.

She remembered how Romana threw a chair in the window on their holiday because she wanted some air in and there was no other way to open it and how they laughed afterwards. Perhaps that was the only time she has ever truly seen Romana relax and be herself and for Leela; she relished that fact. She has never seen Romana so free and joyful. Was this what the Doctor saw in Romana when they travelled together? She wished she could experience more moments like that with Romana but now she never will.

She heard Romana rousing from her sleep and Leela tensed slightly, ready for anything that Romana may request for her to do. “Leela…?” Romana’s voice sounded so fragile like broken glass. Usually her voice could cut through it. “Is that you?”

“Yes, it is me,” Leela replied and she felt her way towards Romana’s side. “I have escaped Annos’s clutches for now and have come to…check upon you. Annos means well but he can’t be my eyes forever.”

“I’m sorry about K9 Leela,” Romana spoke softly but Leela wasn’t sure if she meant those words or was saying them to try and comfort her. The memory of K9 being caught in the explosion at the Academy with all those students was still fresh in her mind and something she will never forgive Hallen for. Even talking about Hallen was painful with the sacrifice he had to make.  “If he were here, he could have been your eyes.”

“But he is not here,” Leela retorted and she sat down in one of the chairs. “And I am not weak. I am warrior of the Sevateem, I do not have to rely upon my sight any longer to defend myself.”

“Of course not,” Romana exhaled slowly. “But I am sorry regardless. K9 was your only gift left from the Doctor. If Braxiatel were here-“Romana winced, missing her old friend and mentor. “He could have always rebuild you a new one.”

“But it won’t be the same. It will be like how you Time-Lord’s shed your skin like snakes and have new faces. I have mourned for K9 and as you said, Braxiatel is not here. Not with what he had to go through for us, for _you.”_ Leela reminded her.

“So many people have made sacrifices for my cause, so many people…” Romana became silent for a moment. “I can’t even bare to look myself in the mirror.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m afraid what I might find there. Because I’m afraid what might stare back at me and that they _have won_ the fight.”

“There is nothing to be afraid of Romana. The only thing you Time-Lord’s fear is death-you have admitted that to me when you couldn’t bear to look upon those students faces that have been killed in the explosion until I forced you too,” Leela pointed out. “You are a warrior now Romana. Maybe not with weapons but you have a way with words that can cut through people like a knife cuts through flesh.”

She heard her friend let out a laugh but it sounded like a heavy cough more than anything else, her voice strained. She wondered if Romana was mocking her again but she was then assured by Romana’s words. “You have to have a way with words when you’re President Leela or when you are in politics. It’s how you need to survive in the capitol. We Time-Lord’s are so long lived that we don’t cherish life as short lived mortals do. You see worlds born and grow into decay before they turn into balls of fire before your eyes and then replaced with new worlds altogether. You see civilisations crash and burn and rise from the depths of Hades.” She gave a dramatic sigh. “I’m beginning to think that anybody can become President now. Especially with Darkel and Valyes challenging me.”

This time it was Leela’s turn to laugh, her voice raw. “Valyes is nothing but a weak man. He is not fit to rule Presidency and even though I have no sight, even I can see better than most.”

She could feel Romana smiling. Oh, how she long to see her friend smile one more time. How she longed for Romana’s warmth but she will not ask for that of Romana now, not when her friend was weak. “You certainly can Leela, more than Darkel, more than the other high council members.” She agreed. “I need you now more than ever Leela. I am not as strong as I used to be and I fear I may have to undergo a regeneration if I still want to take the Presidency. You are the only friend I have left, if not, the _only_ friend.”

“I thought you wouldn’t allow yourself to have friends,” Leela replied but she couldn’t help but give a smile of her own, glad she could be there for Romana and that Romana relied upon her more than just being her bodyguard.

“Times are changing and ever since we had that holiday and our minds had jumbled up together, it has opened my mind.” Romana admitted truthfully. “And I think it’s something the Doctor would want.”

Leela’s hand out stretched to take hold of Romana’s and she fumbled blindly to find her hand but was grateful when Romana took her hand in hers. Romana felt so fragile, like a skeleton that was threatening to crumble into dust any moment and part of her was glad she could not see her only shimmer of hope in this fragile state but another part saddened that she didn’t know how to help her friend. “I may not understand your long, strange words or the way you twist and turn them but I trust you. I have nothing left for me here now on Gallifrey to strive for except you Romana, are my only hint of light in the darkness that surrounds me left.  But…” Leela became hesitant, unsure if she should continue with her words but she had to take courage. “If you betray my trust, I will leave Gallifrey.”

She could feel Romana gently squeezing her hand with what little strength she had left and Leela gently caressed Romana’s skin with her thumb. “Then I will not betray your trust Leela, you have my word. I can’t promise it’s going to be easy journey for the two of us but I need you as much as you need me in this troubling times. We are both each other’s light in the darkness and if we are to survive any of this; I am glad to have you.”

Leela leaned forwards, pressing a gentle kiss to Romana’s cheek and for a moment, for a flicker of a second, she was afraid Romana would shatter underneath her touch but she could feel Romana leaning her head against her chest as she kissed, inhaling Romana’s hair. She smelt of lemons and fresh fruit. “Out of all the friends I have met,” Leela began softly, a smile on her face as she kissed Romana’s other cheek. “All that I have travelled with, I am glad to share this journey with you.”

This time, she could feel Romana’s own lips kiss the bare skin against her chest softy. “And I you,” Romana spoke softly. “And I you Leela.”


End file.
